To Say Something Over and Over Again
Accept you ever wondered why people keep repeating the same matter in conversations over and over? If you're anything similar me, yous can't ignore the content of conversations because you lot know that language tin can be a window to the listen.
People repeat what they say for a number of reasons in a variety of contexts. I'one thousand simply concerned here with those instances where what they say over and over tin can provide clues to their psychological makeup.
Get-go off, I want to be clear every bit to what specific instances I'm talking about. I'm non talking most instances where a person repeats something in a conversation because they feel they've not been heard- a person repeating their point in a debate, for example.
I'one thousand as well not talking virtually instances where it's obvious why the person is repeating themselves. An example would exist a child repeatedly asking for candy when her mother clearly has no intention of giving one.
The incidences I'one thousand talking about are the ones where yous notice that someone tells others the same thing that they've told you lot. It'southward normally a story of an incident that happened to them.
At present my question is: Why would they, of all topics, keep saying the aforementioned thing to the people they run into?
Earlier we delve into the possible reasons, I'd like to narrate an incident from my ain life:
I and a few classmates were working on a group project in the last semester of my undergrad. We had 2 assessments for the project work- minor and major. During the minor assessment, our professor pointed out a shortcoming in our project work.
It'southward natural to feel bad (no matter how slightly) when you experience something like this. But what I noticed was that not all of us in the group were afflicted in the same way by that remark.
While most of us forgot about information technology soon after, in that location was this ane girl in our group who was conspicuously more affected by it than the rest of us. How do I know that?
Well, later on that incident she kept repeating what the professor had said to almost anybody she talked to, at least in my presence. Then much and so that she even pointed it out in our major cess despite my warning of non revealing annihilation that may undermine our assessment.
This intrigued and frustrated me. I confronted her and said, rather angrily, "Why practice y'all keep mentioning it to everyone? Why is it such a big deal to you?"
She didn't have an answer. She barbarous silent. Since then, I've noticed many people, including myself, engage in the exact aforementioned behaviour.
The mind is always trying to make sense of things
If someone tells you that your friend died in an accident and gives you a detailed description of what happened, you're unlikely to ask any more questions. You may immediately skid into a state of shock, disbelief, or even sadness.
Consider what would happen if they only told that you that your friend died without telling you why or how. Yous'd desperately inquire the aforementioned questions over and over till your heed makes sense of the incident (with the help of relevant answers).
This example is pretty straightforward where yous're repeatedly asking questions to go answers. But why would someone echo something that is not necessarily a question?
Again, the answer is the same. Their mind is trying to brand sense of what happened. The consequence is unresolved in their heed. Past repeating the same thing over and over, they desire to resolve information technology and do away with information technology.
Many things that nosotros encounter on a daily basis get easily resolved (I fell because I slipped, he laughed because I said something funny, etc.). But some things are not so easily resolved and exit deep impressions on the states.
Consequently, our minds get stuck in this loop of trying to brand sense of them because they haven't made total sense to us however.
Past traumas and repeating the same things
A person who has had a traumatic feel in the past may keep interim out these traumas in their dreams. Only past talking about the trauma repeatedly, trying to make sense of information technology, can they hope to end these dreams.
When we hear the give-and-take trauma we tend to think of some major unfortunate incident. Just trauma likewise comes in other, minor forms. That remark our professor made was traumatic for the girl who went on to tell everyone virtually it.
When people get close to each other in relationships, they often talk about their bad by and childhood experiences. They may not overly limited how those experiences traumatized them. They may attempt to portray the instances equally entertaining or interesting. But the fact that they're repeating these stories is a strong indication of trauma.
Next fourth dimension your friend says, "Have I told you this earlier?" say "No" even if they have, just to get a better understanding of their psychology.
Justifying yourself and repeating the same things
Often, the bad experiences a person is trying to make sense of, by talking nigh them repeatedly, involve self-blame. On a deep level, the person thinks that they're somehow responsible for what happened to them. Or at least, they had a office in it or could have avoided it somehow.
Then when they are telling their story it'due south likely that they'll try to justify themselves. In doing so, they may fifty-fifty distort the story and narrate it in such a way that clears them of any blame and showcases them as victims.
Why do they do this?
We're e'er trying to project a expert image of ourselves to our fellow humans, peculiarly those who affair to united states. If in that location'due south something in our recent or afar past that has the potential to degrade our image, we brand sure that they know we're non to blame.
This paradoxical situation of first blaming oneself and and so trying to vindicate oneself commonly happens on an unconscious level. So it's no wonder that people keep repeating this behaviour without stopping to self-reflect.
It'due south of import to call up that these instances that people repeatedly talk nigh may non necessarily be traumatic. It could be anything they haven't yet made total sense of.
When that girl in our project group repeated the professor'southward remark, it didn't traumatize me but information technology left an impression still. At the time, I wasn't able to make sense of it.
Therefore, my mind kept replaying the incident over and over and I might too have told the aforementioned story to others over and over just I didn't.
Lucky for them, I'm frequently self-reflective plenty not to engage in behaviours that may reveal my psychology. So I spared them the boredom. I've finally told the story and attempted to brand sense of information technology via this article.
How-do-you-do, I'm Hanan Parvez (MBA, MA Psychology), founder and writer of PsychMechanics. I've published one book and authored 400+ articles on this blog (started in 2014) that accept garnered over 4.five million views. PsychMechanics has been featured in Forbes, Concern Insider, Reader'southward Digest, and Entrepreneur. Experience costless to contact me if you accept a query.
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Source: https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-keep-repeating-same-thing/
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